eggstasy: ([khr; yamamoto] calm before the storm)
eggstasy ([personal profile] eggstasy) wrote2012-07-06 10:07 pm

(no subject)

This has been a long time coming. I don't know who's going to read this, or understand what it's about, but making this post is something I need to do for myself at the very least.

All of this should be read with a tone of utter sincerity. That's how I'm writing it, anyway.

I'm sorry I lost interest in you.
I'm sorry I didn't care enough to work harder on you.
I'm sorry I let my ego get in the way.
I'm sorry I created characters for you, and then didn't care about them.
I'm sorry I planned and plotted and cackled and then decided it wasn't enough.
I'm sorry I didn't give you the respect you deserve; as a creation, as a brainchild of mine and others, as something people enjoyed.

I'm sorry I was mean.
I'm sorry I was rude.
I'm sorry I generalized all of you based on my own perception of how a handful of people behaved.
I'm sorry I dismissed you.
I'm sorry I didn't care enough about you to try harder.
I'm sorry I wasn't patient enough or nice enough or satisfied enough to keep going.

I'm sorry I spoke like I was the authority on everything.
I'm sorry I didn't respect the opinions of others.
I'm sorry for not being honest.
I'm sorry for being arrogant.
I'm sorry for flaunting my disrespect for concepts of which I have absolutely no understanding.
I'm sorry I treated you like text and icons, instead of as human beings.

I'm sorry I took you too seriously.
I'm sorry I didn't take you seriously enough.
I'm sorry that I judged you, and continuously judge you, day in and day out.
I'm sorry that you aren't enough anymore.

I'm sorry you didn't do this sooner.
I'm sorry that you carried this around for years when it was as easy as accepting and writing out an apology.
I'm sorry I let you downplay how "silly internet things" make you feel.
I'm sorry it isn't enough anymore, but that doesn't mean it's not fun.

Thatta girl.
Now go and play with your friends.

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