eggstasy: (Brograb)
Leonardo is sucking up the vast majority of my attention. Mike is hoarding all the rest.

Guy is contentedly quiet, Daxter is where he usually is -ready to thread with castmates/things that directly apply to him- and Cloud is despondent and boring as shit. I've never been bored with Cloud before now, but here we have it ladies and gents.

I am going to ignore my online!responsibilities for at least another day, play favorites with tagging order for at least another day, and watch TMNT episodes and not give a fuck otherwise.

I wonder when -if ever- RP will go back to that thing I used to just have fun with, or if certain things have to take place before that happens.



-and my cat just left his comfortable place at my hip to come lay right against my arm. I feel loved.
eggstasy: (/crai)
I think Disappoint!Hojo being my default icon is sending across the wrong message.

...I personally just find it hilarious.


You know, I hate -HATE- how I flip-flop through my current interest, over the span of a few months. It'll go something like this:

"Oh hmmm, Final Fantasy VII. I think I'll stay here for a whi- ooooh shiny, must go to shiny- no, nope. Back to FF7. ...but TotA is right over there. Maybe I'll hang out over there for a bit, ahhhh...yes- WAIT but look, a new Transformers fic! Mmmm, I do so love Transformers. And robots. Megaman has robots...shit I love Megaman, I used to draw it all the time...AHAHAHA THAT AWESOME MEGAMAN FIC- oh that's right, she writes DBZ too! Oh man, DBZ is so aweseommmmmmmmm I love DBZ- but wait, I love Jak and Daxter too- oh but what am I saying, I should post for Cloud-"

And on and on. It's very, very annoying. Makes it very hard to fandom!squee over something with friends when my stupid brain is too ADD to settle on one for longer than a month. It's even worse when I start self-squeeing over my own shit like some puffed-up BN of a fandom that doesn't exist yet. -_(\


I also hate it when I have all the drive to RP, but not the brainpower. Or when I have the drive the night before, then lose it the next day (usually because of work). I just click on LJ, stare at Luceti's profile and realize that, "nope, neither little old man tags nor apps are going to be done tonight," and that I'm just going to dick around and MAYBE respond to a couple tags before stumbling off to bed, because I have to be up soon and I didn't sleep the night before so I've got a little catching up to do, too...eh.

Bleh.

You know RP has become an unhealthy obsession when to free up time for job-searching you consider quitting your job as a preferable course of action to quitting your roleplay game. Though in my defense, quitting my job would make me exceedingly happy for about a week before the panic sets in, whereas quitting roleplay would probably kick me over that line of clinical depression I've been toeing lately.

Whatever, fuck that shit.

I wanna go back to school so bad. I want a degree that will actually help me get a decent job -oh for Christ's sake and not in retail, isn't six years long enough? Haven't I done my time yet?- or even better, one I like. I want to magically get better at my drawing, or at least get to the point where I don't look at it and cringe in disgust, so that I can whip SOMETHING up to show publishers. For Christ's sake I have all the history written out -some online, some in my head- and I have all the characters, all the terms, all the twists, all the animals, circumstances, MUSIC FOR CRYING OUT LOUD- and I can't do anything with it because I'm...lazy. Essentially.



Guh.

Fuck.

-Egg
eggstasy: (/crai)
I want a new job.

I need a new job.

Please God, give me a new job.


Somebody please hold me. I am STILL about to cry and I left half an hour ago.

I need a meme to cheer up, or something. I don't even know anymore.

-Egg
eggstasy: (EGGBOT)
Sister stopped by a 7-Eleven after picking me up from work and we got Slurpees. I got mine in a Domo cup. It's cute.

Apparently there was another break in around my neighborhood, yay. :\ Glad to know that we could end up even more down-and-out than we already are. Lol, we should leave a sign on our door that says, "everything in this house is on loan from the bank and we haven't paid mortgage in months, help yourself!"

Except to my game systems.

/SIGH/ So, I was going to apply at this one place, a Bible translation company. But then I got to the second half of the application and it basically went "WE BELIEVE THAT EVERY TEENY WORD IN THE BIBLE IS ABSOLUTE BULLET-PROOF TRUTH, AND IF ANYONE SAYS OTHERWISE THEN THEY'RE GOING TO HELL." So. Ditched that application right quick, since I...cannot lie about that. >_>;

Trying more places...put in an application at a portrait company and wrote a damn good cover letter, if I do say so myself. It's just that...JESUS, nobody's posting job opportunities lately. NOBODY. It's...kind of horrific, how few jobs are available. Pretty scary. I wonder if it'll get so bad that I have to move in with a relative and depend on charity?

...I can't do that. Cannot. I have too much pride. It would destroy me.


Wow, that was depressing. Chin up, Eggface.


-Egg
eggstasy: (I am interested in what you have to say.)
It's so much easier to play at one RP than at two. Even though there's no surprises when you're modding someplace with plot and all, you can still always be aware of what's happening because you're planning it. And I always thought that Luceti was time consuming because I modded it, but Elegante was/is actually more stressful because I'm not acutely aware of what's going on and usually have to scramble to either do something or react to something, etc.

Hm.

...

It's funny that the combination of beating FFX and listening to the Finding Nemo soundtrack makes me want to write some character analysis for Tidus.

TIDUS TIDUS TIDUS TIDUS )


...although part of me is worried that I'm just apping Tidus to try and fulfill something that I'm missing. Maybe I should just not do it and spend that extra time working on Arcana.

I can't get a job, and not for lack of trying (as I'm sure quite a few of you out there feel also). There just aren't any jobs available. Man.

What are we all going to do?


-Egg
eggstasy: (Rite I tell u nao.)
Three months as of two days ago. Mama started cleaning out her closet and found the huge Father's Day card we gave Daddy in 2004 with these essays inside of them about why he's a great dad.



...I miss him. He really was the best father.
eggstasy: (Yeah okay not listening h0r.)
Five more hours and it's a full month.

...Jesus, seriously? Man.
eggstasy: (Yeah okay not listening h0r.)
Everyone was right.

An A.A. degree is USELESS.


Fuck this country and its shitty economy.


-Egg

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